The Art Of The Pickup: The Red Pill of Beliefs

It’s Nicholas here today and I’m going to give you a red pill.

I will bet with almost complete certainty that just about every man signed up to this newsletter has seen the movie “The Matrix”.

I am sure, in fact, you have already heard just about every analogy people could muster to connect the premise of the movie — that of human beings unknowingly plugged into a vast computer system and living their lives so that they could be “batteries/slaves” for the AI (artificial intelligence) that humankind itself birthed. If you haven’t, well, welcome back to whatever planet you were living on recently.

Realize that the premise is a very plausible notion – we are all, in fact, currently plugged into a system of rules and influence and beliefs and most are not aware of it or how every moment of their experience is formed and controlled in ways they simply accept.

In OUR world, outside the fantasy of movies, we may not actually be connected to machinery and immersed in gooey sacks of fluids while living in virtual reality computer programs.

BUT … there IS a world around us that is mostly built on society, culture, social dynamics and, most importantly, each of us is living surrounded by (no, IMMERSED in) the beliefs of others.

Ultimately, the only thing fully 100% in your control is your own beliefs.

There is nothing else in the world you, or anyone, can truly control 100% other than your own beliefs and actions taken which are undoubtedly based on those beliefs.

If you are reading this newsletter than we can presume you’ve already been unplugged from the matrix and plug yourself back in at will knowing that you have more control to influence your surroundings than you previously thought. That control comes from your own beliefs.

Beliefs are what limit you or empower you.

– Sometimes your beliefs are based on facts and help you, like protecting you from coming into physical harm.

– Other beliefs are based on your experiences, influenced by your perceptions.

Your experiences are partly under your control, but your perception of those experiences is entirely under your control.

It is totally up to you how you decide to perceive any experience of yours and you either maintain a belief system that limits you or one that empowers you.

I bet there have been many times you have questioned the beliefs of others, but how often have you questioned your own beliefs?

Have you ever thought that maybe your own beliefs and perception of reality around you are the very things holding you back – rather than the external things you might regularly put blame on?

Consider for a moment a limiting belief you might have and I’ll show you how to break through it. For example, let’s say you’re an average working joe and believe that only famous or wealthy men date truly beautiful women.

Can you think of times you’ve seen such beautiful women with men who looked like average Joes? Of course you can, you’ve probably seen it many times, so you know that belief is somehow limiting and, therefore, unproductive.

Such a belief doesn’t empower you, it limits you. Turn it around by seeing the other side of it: “It is possible to date beautiful women WITHOUT being famous or rich.”

Now you might be thinking “OK, Nicholas, the glass is not half empty, it is half full. How does thinking differently improve my advantage?”

It’s very simple.

With the old belief, you would be giving yourself excuses not to try. With the new belief, you have a something which EMPOWERS you to try.

Being able to change your beliefs is like unplugging yourself from the “Matrix”.

Taking action on your new beliefs is like taking advantage of new laws of physics working to your advantage.

Knowing the path = refreshing your belief system.

Walking the path = taking action on your new beliefs.

Whenever you come across a situation that you PERCEIVE yourself as not being capable for, assess that belief and rationally step yourself through logic which will allow you to see the opposite possibility as being just as possible. Then replace that belief with your old one and… empower yourself by ACTING on the new belief.

Do this enough and your own experiences over time will reinforce your new belief system to the point you don’t even have to think about it anymore.

Love,

Nicholas

The Art Of The Pickup: How to Pickup Efficiently

Let me ask you, do you have enough time to meet women?

I ask this because for years, I found it a constant struggle to make enough time to go out and meet women in clubs and bars while still working over 60 hours a week. And unless your Aunt Hilda left you a fat inheritance, maybe you also find that studying or working for a living gets in the way of you living the pimp lifestyle.

What is a potential student of the Pickup Arts to do?

If you are in school and studying all the time, it’s important to keep that up so you can get a good job and support yourself. And if you already have that good job, you probably want to keep it.

The answer is to be efficient in how you use your time to meet women. And today I will discuss a few ideas for doing just that.

My first piece of advice is to take advantage of the times where you are feeling your best.

For most of us, there just happen to be days when we are really feeling great, maybe because of our favorite team winning, or we got a raise at work, etc.

Now ideally you want to learn how to be in control of your own emotions and frames so that you feel this way regardless of outside factors, but we will talk about that more another time.

For now, if you are a busy person, then what you need to concentrate on is taking advantage of these times when you naturally feel on top of the world, and use those to go out and meet women.

The reason should be fairly obvious, but it is worth saying that I think ENERGY is one of the most important aspects of success with women. And when you are feeling great, your energy is at a peak and it is just right for meeting women and making them interested in you.

The idea here is not to only go out when you feel great like this, but rather never to miss the opportunity to capitalize on it.

OK, you are asking what to do all the other times? Here is the other key to becoming efficient with pick up.

You need to meet women in everyday situations.

Sounds very simple, but it often amazes me how many guys only allow themselves to meet women at clubs and bars. It’s like there is some unwritten rule for them that makes them think that it isn’t acceptable to meet a woman while you are buying groceries or simply walking in the mall. Part of the reason is that we seldom see other people doing it in these same situations. The reason is that they are afraid, and that they probably don’t know what to say.

A third way to be efficient when you are very busy is simply to be able to seduce women fast, and to try for that fast seduction in general.

A lot of men think that they have to wait until after the third, fourth or fifth date in order to try for sex. But trying earlier doesn’t mean it can’t happen sooner. And an interesting realization that you should have is that women won’t hold it against you for being a man, so don’t be afraid to move a bit faster than you might have before.

A final issue in becoming efficient with picking up women has almost nothing to do with women directly, but can be very important.

Simply stated, guys tend to spend too much time doing things that have nothing to do with improving their skills with women.

Yeah, its great to watch Sports Center, or play video games, but it actually reduces your overall success and efficiency with women. So you need to cut down on things like that and replace them with applying what you are learning.

So the three quick takeaways are: make sure you always take advantage of the times where you are feeling your best to go out and meet women, meet women in during your everyday activities that you have to do anyway like shopping, don’t be afraid to move things faster with women you have met, and finally cut out time wasting activities that don’t contribute to you getting success with women.

Love,

Nicholas

The Art of The Pickup: Anatomy of a Non-Approach

Today I’m going to talk about an approach that never took place. Not one that was attempted and failed, but one that never even happened.

“Why in the world would I want to talk about something like that??”

Because, more likely than not, it will be familiar to you and I can open your mind to a whole new world of possibilities.

Here is what you might experience on any given day:

It’s a Tuesday afternoon and you just stepped out of your office, home, or wherever it is you might be to go to a nearby the post office and pick up some mail supplies.

On your way to get the packing tape and envelopes you need, you see a very attractive looking girl filling writing something on a package with a big red marker.

She’s attractive but dressed casually, almost plainly; perhaps she’s an office assistant in a nearby business.

You would really love to talk to her but don’t know what to say, so you go about your other business hoping something happens in your environment to sort of “help you out” in meeting her.

You find your supplies and get in line. There’s always a line at the post office!

You notice that red marker girl has gotten in line behind you.

You think to yourself, “Is this a good opportunity to talk to her? What do I say?”

The more you try to think of what to do, the more hesitant you get to say anything at all.

You do your best to keep looking mostly straight ahead, maybe look around the post office a bit, look at your watch, and study the supplies you have in your hands.

You’re wondering if she noticed you.

Would she want you to say something to her?

You’re spacing out on this enough so that when she finally says something to you, you act, but what she says is “The next clerk is open.”

You were spaced out so much that you didn’t realize the next clear was available for the next customer and jump into action to go to the open clerk.

What you don’t notice is that in doing so you cut off the person in front of you!

But they’re nice enough to let it slide… and now you feel a little awkward for doing this.

A moment later the red marker girl is at the next clerk, next to you.

Now she’s to your right, quite open to be talked to, even if for a moment, but now you feel too awkward and don’t say anything.

Your clerk is slow and your interest of lust is already finished paying for her stuff and is on her way out the Post Office.

Dang, you missed your chance.

But wait, the clerk calls out to her that she forgot her change and even runs towards the door to get her attention.

The girl comes back a bit embarrassed, as she seemed to have been a spaceshot herself.

You still don’t say anything and hope that she just looks your way so you can smile and say a witty comment to get her attention, finally, but she doesn’t.

She gets her change and leaves.

A moment later you’re leaving the post office as well and you can see forgetful marker girl walking ahead of you down the street.

It appears like she’s walking in the same direction as you so you get a bit of courage and start walking a bit faster to try to catch up but you still don’t know what to do or say.

You even get a chance to say something but then she turns down a different street than you were going.

You think to yourself, “Oh well, maybe it wasn’t meant to be” and continue on your way.

You will never know what could have happened if you tried something and it will bug you for the rest of the day.

You didn’t do or say anything because you were uncertain of the outcome and, perhaps, avoiding the risk of being rejected.

Well, I am going to give you a peak inside forgetful marker girl’s mind as all this was going on.

Her name was “Molly” but you would never have found that out since you never took any action to do so.

Molly works for a video producer in an office building near the post office.

She’s shy and single and always hoping to meet a guy she can connect with.

On this day she had to drop off a copy of a tape to the producer’s business partners in another city.

As she’s writing the address on the package, she notices an interesting guy walk in and notices him walk by and look at her and seem like he might say something but, instead, walks to the supply area.

She wonders what kind of guy he is and thinking maybe she will get the chance to talk to him, except that she’s shy and, like most girls, need the guy to initiate.

Obviously since she’s too shy to approach and talk to him on her own, as soon as he gets in line she gets in line right behind him hoping maybe the proximity will help.

She’s in line behind this guy for a few minutes but he doesn’t seem to notice her.

He seems distracted, maybe he’s got a lot on his mind?

The line is finally moving ahead and Molly sees her chance to be vocal, to get attention, by saying to the person ahead of her interest of lust that a clerk is free.

To Molly’s surprise, rather than working to get his attention, her vocality caused him to break out of his distracted state to believe he’s the next person in line and he walks over to the clerk.

She finds this kind of silly.

Molly tends to be attracted to guys who are occasional goofs.

After a minute, Molly is happy to see that the clerk next to the cute distracted guy is open and hopes that he’ll say something to her while she’s paying for shipping, but she’s too shy to look over at him to smile or anything like that.

The situation is making Molly a little nervous and feeling a little awkward about herself.

Molly’s clerk finishes the order quicker than Molly thought and now she feels a little self-conscious and quickly starts walking to the door, forgetting her change.

The clerk calls to her and now she feels like a dork for forgetting her change and thinks “OK, this guy will never talk to me now… I’m such a dork!”

She gets her change, walks out, thinking “Oh, well, maybe it was never meant to be.”

Your anatomy professor,

Nicholas

Special Guest Writer Rodrigo on Body Language

We have a special treat for you today. Our creative co-producer of “The Keys Of Attraction”, Rodrigo, wrote up some advice on body language. Enjoy!

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The biggest thing to be aware of when approaching and interacting with women is your body language». How you communicate non-verbally is really much more important than what you are actually saying.

When talking to an attractive woman, a common thought that will go through your mind is, “wow, she is really beautiful, she is too attractive for me, I just hope she likes me”. And you continue talking with this thought in the back of your mind.

Unbeknownst to you, you are actually conveying these thoughts through your non-verbal communication with your lack of eye contact, nervous ticks, tonality etc. And women will pick up on this, trust me.

Most pickup information out there will tell you to always think of yourself higher than her, to believe that you are of higher value than her.

This is great advice, but most people just can’t genuinely change their belief patterns like that right away. So until you really do believe you are of higher value you’ll have to act it; here’s how:

When you ask her a question and she doesn’t respond or shows signs of not intending to answer you, make sure you keep the eye contact and gesture with your hand in a circular motion saying ‘so…..’.

If she still doesn’t respond you can just tease her about it and say something like “ah, so your brain dead huh?” (in a congruent fun way).

The point here is, in moments when she is not responsive the key is to not quickly change the subject like most guys do. But rather keep your power and communicate to her that you are not overly impressed by her beauty or affected by her unresponsive attitude.

Here’s another great trick whenever you feel really nervous:

Act out the following body language» that will get you through any situation.

- Maintain eye contact almost all the time. – Don’t just read this and think “yeah, I know that”. Really be aware of it when you’re in interactions with women and make sure whenever things are not going well to always keep eye contact.

- Slow body movements – this can really not be underestimated. Always be aware of moving your arms, neck, and even eye lids overly slow. Just think if you were the most relaxed you could possibly be, how would you move? Try it out next time you go out and see what happens.

- Talk smooth. – Just try it, talk slow with a lot of pauses. Trust me, she won’t get bored. Remember, talking smooth includes keeping eye contact and using slow body movements.

- Be aware of any nervous ticks you might have. – This means no tapping the table with your fingers or touching your face or doing anything with your feet or hands that is not relaxed.

The key is to first be aware that you do them, then to remember to act relaxed.

Another great thing to do when you go blank or just don’t know what to do is this:

Look slightly up and right as if you are thinking about something. (This is naturally where you look when you are thinking). And hold that position for as long as you need until you have composed yourself and can safely enter back into the interaction.

She might ask you to answer or continue and you can just respond by saying “hang on, I’m just thinking”. Then you can look back at her when your ready and continue as if nothing happened. This little technique actually works for you in three ways:

1. Lets you compose yourself in a way that hides any nervous signs you would otherwise show.

2. Displays to her that you are not overly impressed by her and your not trying to impress her every second of the interaction. She will notice this!

3. Works like a vacuum, sucking her in because it acts like you’re “leaning back” thus she “leans in”.

These are just a few little things that I’ve found very powerful and makes interacting with women much easier. You will be surprised at how this learning back relaxed smooth attitude works on women. Go try it out!

Showing you how it’s done,

Rodrigo

Why Don’t Women Just Tell Men What They Want?

Is any of the following familiar to you?:

• You are interested in a girl and she seems to be interested in you. You get the courage to ask her out… but she makes an excuse or declines.
• You are talking to a girl and she tells you that she has a boyfriend, so you give up the thought of asking her out. Later you find out from a friend that the girl is actually single. Why did she tell you she had a boyfriend?
• You are on a date and no matter how well everything seems is going, you are not getting that feeling that she’s interested in you the way you’re interested in her. You are spending time in a nice place, having interesting conversations, but later even if you get the courage to make a move, she rejects it. She may even say outright that she’s “not ready” or “not looking for someone right now” (when you know for a fact that if a man she WAS interested in was right in front of her, she wouldn’t hesitate with HIM). She seems to give you no indication of what she wants.
• You ask a girl what she’s looking for in a man. She tells you. It sounds exactly like you, but she doesn’t seem interested in you in “that” way. Why?
• You are in a situation where you’ve been pursuing a girl for quote some time, maybe even courting her, but no matter what you do, say, or try, she never seems to reciprocate the kind of interest in you as you have for her. You may even be direct enough to ask her why she’s not interested in you but she won’t say why or what she does say makes no sense at all.

I am not going to explain WHY women are the way they are.

It doesn’t matter, because what you really need to understand is how to READ them and determine what works and what doesn’t work.

Women almost never seem to be satisfied by the men they date or the majority of men who are interested in dating them.

Do you think it’s because those men truly aren’t up to par or maybe it’s because they simply don’t understand how to interpret what the women they’re interested in want and how to display those characteristics?

Whenever a woman holds back on relaying to a man, any man, what she truly wants and what truly creates attraction in her, it could be one of 3 main reasons:

1. She thinks she’s telling the man what she wants, but she is only relaying what she consciously is looking for rather than what actually triggers her attraction and desires. She may at times make the active choice to follow her conscious “litmus test” but she will soon be unhappy with the choice, and seek another option.
2. She does know what gets her attracted and what gets her truly interested, but she decides to keep it to herself.
3. She doesn’t actually know what makes her attracted to any given man, she just “knows” and simply rejects the approaches of many men until one comes along that simply “does it” for her.

Do you know what’s great about those reasons? …

They don’t actually matter!

Most people don’t know how a TV works, either, but they do know that when the “ON” button is clicked on the remote the TV turns on.

We don’t need to understand how a picture tube works; we don’t need to understand infrared light, or what a cathode ray tube is.

All we need is for someone to show us where the remote is, how to pinpoint where the “ON” button is, how to click it, how to change channels, and increase/decrease the volume.

A TV can’t tell you how it works. It just does when you click the right buttons. Women are way more complex than TVs (and nicer!) but the concept is the same.

Women don’t come with instructions and they don’t WANT to come with instructions.

They don’t actually want to have to tell men how to attract them.

Sure, they will put on makeup, wear high heels, nice dresses, and spend hours and lots of money on their hair, but that is to attract as many men as possible in the first place in order to have a selection they can choose from.

Some women are so naturally beautiful that they avoid using too much makeup or over-doing the primping to avoid attracting too many men!

What women don’t need is a way to attract MORE men – they already have pretty much all that’s necessary and do what they can to optimize their fan base. What they need is a means to FILTER the men who are attracted to them.

Imagine if every woman said “yes” to every man who ever approached her… OK, stop imagining Angelina Jolie saying “yes” to you… stay focused…

If every man knew how to attract every woman, this would be quite an over-populated planet and this newsletter would be called “The Art of Repulsing Men” and marketed to women!

So, you can see why women are not going to spell out what works for them, what stirs their attraction, even when they truly know. Some factors are universal to all women and many factors unique to each woman.

No matter what the factor, a woman is not going to spoon-feed this information to any man who is interested in her.

Beyond the over-population issue, there is another factor involved.

When you read the last paragraph, you might have thought “But what if she’s already interested in the man who is approaching her? Isn’t it in her best interest to show or explain to him how to attract her?”

The answer to that is no.

How does she know this man is truly interested in her? How does she know the man is being forthright? How does she know that he’s really who he portrays himself to be? How does she know he’s not dangerous or psychotic or might put her in harm’s way? The answer for her is to apply FILTERS.

Here is how a woman’s filtering process goes:

• She will not state or explain to a man what attracts her. If she does, it’s a façade to determine whether he will cater to the façade rather than maintain his integrity of who he truly is. Who he truly is may or may not attract you.
• She will observe his body language to determine how much he is in harmony with his own words. She can’t be attracted to a man who makes claims that don’t jive with his presence.
• She will observe how congruent he is from one moment to the next. If he acts too differently one moment to the next (in terms of personality not in predictability), then he’s not being congruent with himself and she can’t be attracted to a man who may be putting on a façade. If this seems hypocritical, consider that men do it to get in women’s pants and women do it to avoid a man getting in their pants who might cause them to feel “buyer’s remorse” later (or worse).
• She will talk in third-person contexts or relay stories of people she knows to see what the man’s real opinions are of things that may have more to do with her than the people in those stories.
• Immediate physical attraction aside, so long as a man doesn’t outright turn her off, and has interesting aspects to him, she will continue to interact with him long enough for something to “click”.
• Once enough time has passed where nothing has “happened”, she will presume he’s either not interested or doesn’t have the “right stuff” that makes her feel attracted and then no matter what happens after that the door is closed.

Even understanding this filtering process can help you quite a lot but, still…

How do you, as a man, determine WHAT a woman would truly be attracted to without expecting it all to be spelled out for you or to have a map drawn out for you? The ways to do it are:

Pay attention to the subtext of what a woman is saying.

If she’s talking about someone she knows in the third person OR any part of your intuition makes you feel like she’s talking about herself indirectly, then presume it’s meant to gauge your true opinion.

In that case, just acknowledge the story without sharing an opinion (keep her guessing) or (even better) turn the tables around on her by relating to the story through one of your own with a similar context.

For example if she says “I know this woman at work who’s hooked on an anti-depressant, she’s always worried that she’s messing up her life… do you think that hurts how attractive she is?”, you reply with “That’s an interesting question, there’s this guy who lives near me that sounds just like her – what do you think?”

If she doesn’t want to answer, then change the subject.

If she answers readily, then you know the best way to answer.

Observe what she does, not what she says.

If a woman tells you she doesn’t like men who are dominant yet reacts more positively to you when you are dominant, then just ignore what she’s saying and continue to do what works.

The trick is to be more observant of her actions and not her words, if the context allows.

Understand women in general and what is attractive to them, in general, and stick to that regardless of what your friends, family, the media, or even women themselves tell you about what interests them.

Use women’s filtering tactics for yourself.

Use the filtering tactics I describe in this newsletter for yourself on the women you are interacting with.

They may or may not know you are actively reversing their tactics but they will intuitively recognize that you are “filtering” them and not just catering to them to get in their pants like most men do.

Not only does this tactic help you understand their perspective and use it to your advantage, you will also increase your attractiveness to them by the mere act of doing so – because clearly only a man who would need to filter the women he interacts with is one who is chased by more women than he is interested in.

Initiate “tests” to or challenges to the woman that display you are aware of her coy subtext.

This one will take practice, and requires the vibe to be that of flirting rather than interrogation.

If a woman presents you with subtext that you know is a filtering ploy, then joke with her how obvious she’s being or how silly it is for her to be hitting on you like a piece of meat.

Obviously, this is not something that can be done just through words (you can’t read something like this and expect it to immediately work just by repeating the words) but if you understand what the vibe is meant to be and can maintain your congruence with it, then, by all means, use it to your advantage.

Your prognosticator of the pursuit of pickup,

Nicholas